no mre brain cell...so decide to copy and paste....got it fr yan jun(o5s02, damn cute gal)...
LovedIt is not the feeling of love,nor is it the act of giving love, it is the simple feeling, and pleaure of feeling loved. Everyone wants to be loved;yet sometimes, it turns up only when you least expected it. It is the feeling that has care, warmth, kindness, and a certain kind of sheltering all wrapped into one packaginf, it is the feeling that everyone needs, and wants, from the young to the old, from the poor to the rich, from the housewives to the CEO in a big company. You could be loved by your family, loved by your friends, loved by someone in a romantic way, but to be loved does not mean that you must give the love back, but to be truely loved is to be loved unconditionally, without any strings attatched. Pemember, you can never force someone to love you, all you can do, is to be someone that can be loved.
DiappointmentDisappointment. It does not necessarily have to contain anger in it, in fact, it is a harsher feeling; Anger will, and can, go away, but not always disappointment. IT is, more of something you feel after a loss of something extremely inportant to you, when your heart seems to sink into oblivion, and even sometime, seems like it can never be brought up again. It could happen after a betrayal of a friend, or the result of the test you had studied so hard for comes back with results that are not exactly up to what you expected....People go through countless for disappointments in our lives, and it is up to themselves to pick themselves up again, to learn from their disappointment...Believe me, I've gone through that.
arh...i have no time to study my test...how??....co ends late tml...and the day after tml will be econs test.....finish liao....gonna start on trigo 2 liao...i am way behind time man!!.....haix....stress...
arh.....talked to van tday...i tok to her everyday...hehe...anw....yap...i really cold hearted yah....anw...i really xin han yah...i think u shld understand wat i am toking bout.....pretty tired also....hmm.....anw happy for u arh....find u very funny...haha...a bit pervert also....hehe...hmm....kkz....i shld stop tt...u will scream at me....just kidding....like ppl will know wat i am toking bout like tt........
van: u rest well yah....dun be too stress over band and hmwk...and for heaven sake stop drinking cold drinks...u wanna die issit！！！
YEH!!! Problems solved....tks to me sia...haha...kkz....so...yap....dun think need to worry liao....haha....kkz....put on contact liao....hmm....kinda worried yah....duno how to put....damn clumsy man.....haha.....but look pretty okay without specs....a bit strange....mum say no diff...how can be no diff...nose feel so light...hehe....
kkz...bad things....xuanny(IP) need to do demo for the IP programme...although mr tek was going through some really important stuff...but she really need to go lorh...sandwich between adults is the last thing u wan....as a polite student...she asked for permission fr mr tek to leave...he gave her a super super....duno how to say...but anw....damn selfish yah...poor xuanny........
anw....heard tis song on the radio....damn nice!!!!
你知不知道 思念一個人的滋味
就像喝了一杯冰冷的水
然後用很長很長的時間
一顆一顆流成熱淚
你知不知道 寂寞的滋味
寂寞是因為思念誰
你知不知道
痛苦的滋味
痛苦是因為想忘記誰
你知不知道
忘記一個人的滋味
就像欣賞一種殘酷的美
然後用很小很小的聲音
告訴自己堅強面對
你知不知道 寂寞的滋味
寂寞是因為思念誰
你知不知道 痛苦的滋味
痛苦是因為想忘記誰
haha...nice lyrics too...erh...i just like tis song....no other meaning...dun think too much...=P
arh...had a terrible migrain tday...wish i could chop of my head to stop the pain....so went to the doctor....the doc said the white patch on my face is due to fungus infection....my god...i was disgusted....FUNGUS INFECTION....imagine a mushroom growing on my skin....YUCKS!!...haha...must be py's bball....cos i got it after playing bball...haha...so slpet the whold day..due to the medicine...but...manage to finish some hwk...haha....
haix tml got co again...i dread going to co yah....i think we are doing housekeeping tml...so shld be able to be released early....then can eat early and go home early...haha...
KK....tt stupid tang lang(veron)'s bday is on 6 JULY...but his bday wish list is already out...HOW CAN!!!.......when mine is 4 may and no bday list yet....i shall not speak bad bout him....later veron ham tam me...haha....kkz...tis yrs bday wish list:
1.world peace...i hate wars=i hate BUsh....
2.improve my grades...
3.play cello better...especially my chords...
4.lose weight....i dun want to tell u my weight...haha
just realise tt i dun really need anthing...not like tang lang(mp3 i pod mini)...LOL...sorry veron...i have everything...haha...so....duno lar....give me slimming pills as present??...haha...neh...i prefer the healthy way...if i am really tt despo than mayb i will try...heard tt its pretty useful.....
arh...went to swiss co tday...they have really grown....and they played pretty well...with movements and all tt....i think some of them play better than the nj ppl...i cant help but say they are really unlucky...veron(my senior cum best friend) and i went to buy satin ribbons for them...went to west mall, jurong east, jurong point....they just dun have the colour we want....haix...so suai...i seriously think tt they shld go do some praying....but their syf is tml...i shall pray for them...silver....not bronze....
haha....walked around JP...veron bought a little key chain for tang lang...i damn tempted yah....cos the key chain really nice!!!!.....its a glass basket ball...haha...then we saw tis monkey key chain...i feel bad but the monkey looks like him....haha...fst is squirrel...now monkey...but really look like him yah...haha...wanted to buy...cos really cute...but....i promise my mum to save some money tis week...so mayb i go get it next week or the week after...cos its tooo cute.....and its not ex.....haha....yes!!...bday coming...i am turning 18....can u believe it...sounds old....hhaha...
i feel really depressed....but i really duno wat to say....i love to convert all sad things to tears instead of words....i am transfered fr the 3rd desk to 2nd desk....i duno wat to say to my seniors...i feel so bad for them....no matter wat...they are still my seniors....they deserve to sit in front....i can really see how unhappy they are....then the stupid guy reprimanded me on how bad i played my chord...he didnt scold me...but i must say his words are really hush....i really could not take it...
i seldom complain bout stress...but somehow my body is complaining bout stress....i have pimples on my shoulder and back....its so ugly.....argh.....haix....i promise my parents not to complain bout stress....i dun break promises....i hope the stress will be gone after syf....
hmm...cried the whole day...haha...really...at least the whole of my sunday am and a little of the afternn....dun ask y...i will not tell...just feel tt the society nowadays is too dark....too dirty....ppl using each other to achieve their motives....so sad...y cant everything be a litter simpler.....
arh...enuf of the sad things....yeh!! bday coming...18 liao...so scary sia...sound very old like tt!!1...i wanna go back to primary sch leh...haha...my body shows 18...my mind reflects 8...haha....mummy bought me present liao...damn shock yah!!!!meaning didnt expect them to buyTHAT....thinking of psp...but haha...they buy liao...thinking of inviting all my gd friends to lunch....at least van, fiona,zr,wl,daddy,xuanny....(nj), huixian,huiping,wanghan,veron(aj)...haha.....happy lar...but i like very thick skin...haha....duno y lar.....haha....
hmm....really got nth to say...oh yes...i cant believe i bought cosmetic......me.....haha....strange.......i was forced....co ppl say must wear foundation....bo bian...must buy...my skin so nice...no need lar(hehe)....hmm...kkz....haha...
haix...just realise how spoiled...how selfish i am....no wander wanghan(old gd pal) said tt she cannot tahan my da xiao jie pi qi....i admit lah...i get wat i want....anything....tts how my parents treat me...handphone...laptop...simply anything i want....my family is not rich(stop saying i am rich)....but i must admit tt i am fr a well-to-do family.....tks for telling me tis, van.....got pissed off again....shldnt have reacted like tt....i apologise yah...to fiona and zr...haha....tks for your understanding....but i mood swing when i am hungry......haha...
i am very happy at co tday...the conductor praised me...mr tek said my tai fen very gd...haha..instructor wanted me to sit at the outer desk...haha....stress...still cannot memorise the score...kept on peaking...haha....
dun feel like talking bout him....especially when he is gonna read tis...kinda funny...wanna know anything come and ask me lah...kpo ppl...haha....btw...zr a bit nosy(like mother like daughter,fiona zr is ur daughter tts for sure)....go and ask him wether he like me a not...haha....expected tt stupid ambiguous answer....so...stop asking him liao...tks for ur cooperation.....
Hi Xuanny!!! sorry now than tell u the blog...haix...stupid me...act this blog is for all my gd friends to read so tt i dun have waste my saliva...haha...can save mre time on other things...
Arh.....i don not have to take napfa for the rest of my life.....haha...kkz....jc life...ppl dun get jealous....my knee really hurts when i jump....feel so weak sia....well i am kinda weak lar....feel tired very easily...
worried bout van....shes under stress....but there nothing i could do to help her...useless me...the boys seems to have so much time to do their homewrk....but she just dont have the time...plus the boys are so insensitive....poor thing....i think i am worse than her...wif all my work half done....haix....
arh....again...tis is the second time i am typing tis....the comp is driving me crazy....
kkz....arh....did okay for my napfa....cheers!!!!haha.......
haha....arh big tree said i very fat!!!...he is not the fst person to say tt liao....haix...i guess i reali am fat...arh...how...must stop eating liao....diet!!!...kkz...tml i shall eat as less as possible...save some money to buy things...haha.....
aiyah...stupid ZY....took my econ lecture notes...tml got test leh....i for sure die...die....he will get it tml.......
tis is the second time i am typing tis......i wanna kill the comp liao....:(
anw haha...told van and fiona the whole story.....they scolded mi lah....for playing"hard to get"...act i dun see wats wrong...gals must have their own jing chi mah!!!...kkz lar...i try to play "easy to get" kkz....though intermediate would be better....haha...lame(in both ways...due to muscle fatigue..) they pity him and wanna beat me up lor...haha...do watever u wan...just dun touch my beloved face....its too precious....
Haha...fiona managed to persuade me once again not to forget him....anw its a bit hard when i kept on msging him....i am sooo.......dorz(duno wat to say)...useless??...haha...i got try okay...its just tt it did not work...than got even worse....his name just kept on appearing in my head...haha...kinda sweet though...anw....kkz...i dun break promise....though i feel a bit xin han....funny huh...haix...i guess tts wat all girls gotta go through....haha...fiona must jia you!!!!!!!
I duno y...i feel tt i have some kind of phobia towards man....i cant bring myself to trust them...i wanted to...i tried...i cant...this is no gd...i dun like it....he lied...He mite be....i am not trying to question his love for me...i know he loves mi...but if the thing is true...i will nv forgive him...no matter how much he had done for us. My bday is coming...he could not be by my side...its like a history repeating...i will nv forget tt yr's birthday... i hope tis yr, its a diff story....i really hope so.
Syf coming...getting gold is hard for co...we are not bonded!! i just dun have the feelong i have during swiss co..its so warm...but i feel cold in njco...its reali hard man...i will cry if we didnt get gold...we tried too hard...of course...face value is also important...
arh..i promise myself and also my dearest mummy(biological one) not to chat on msn so frequently...i am trying not to even touch the stupid icon...gonna remove it from my desktop....yes we(me and he) chat on msn every nite...mayb tt shld come to a stop...after much thought..i seriously feel tt i am not gd enuf for him...mayb i shld stop going to mcdonald every fri...he deserves a much better person than me...seeing him is a pain...fiona: i promised u tt i will not forget him...but i am sorry i have to break it...if u dun wanna see me sad...let mi do it...i know wat i am doing....
haix...under stress....tml is napfa but my thigh muscle is still aching..its even worse than yesterday...i think tt i am gonna fail...planning to get a medical cert to excuse myself...cos my knee is not doing any better...why is unlucky things keep on happening to me...somehow i share the same feeling as van now...go onto the road...get knocked down by some stupid car...i am soo tired...life to me its all bout studying....i regret trying soo hard to appeal...mayb i shld reali go to some ite and learn to cook...i would be happier...see!! how can someone who wanted to go ITE get someone from hc..haha...my foot.....
Handed the letter to ZR, she replied tt nite. she is reali a gd friend, she actually remembered what i told her last time tt we all wear a mask..haha..touched.but last nite cant help but piss off again...but cant blame her totally. I am already dead hungry, they just dun wan to move!!! then i got mood swing...because i was hungry!!!....plus muscle fatigue....arh!!!...forget it.anw, hope tt the relationship between mi and zr will be restored.
Haix.....soo unlucky.....sprain my ankle during bball game....fell down at the grandstand....soo sad....daddy saw it and he had no reation...soo sad....there i was...sitting on the stairs, laughing at my own, feel like a fool. I am a fool...kept on fooling myself tt i am gonna be okay in everything...friends,school work, or even relationship...i am not okay...how am i not okay??...i dont know.
Friends: miss van damn hell a lot, duno if she miss mi...ZHiru...dun wanna but...i realise tt i dun reali have anything to tok to her...not tt i dun wan or i dislike her...i just duno wat to tell her..decided to write her a letter...i just could not say all those things out...feel a bit mushy...Fiona...haha...very gd mother...she told mi a lot of things...(ps tks for trusting mi)...jus realise tt i dun reali much gd friends tt i can reali tok to...oh yes...Xuanny...a gd friend of mine i know in CO...
school work: i reali hope tt i culd have 100hrs a day..or make the time stop for mi so tt i could just finish my bloody homework...i just cant finish...i just dun seem to have enough time....and i am always so tired..i cant lie to myself...i am kinda lazy=p....i feel so stupid..so bai chi...i should have applied to sime ITE...or just quite my studies...of course i would not....i will break my parents heart......
relationship: i cant help but feel tt i am in a one sided relationship...tis is not even a relationshp...i felt like smsing him,telling him tt i fell down, but i felt so silly,so in the end i didnt... i said i wanna forget bout him, but i just cant...
haha the dance nite was pretty fun...nice music...didnt eat much...mi and van become the anti social group...WL came back...had a fun time...but van went back early....i very sad sia....i reali sad....though i find my new class not bad.(haix...wanted to dance with ttt person...haha...forget it)